I've told a couple people this story face to face, but never actually typed it out. I don't know if it'll be as funny, but here we go...
If you are offended by mentions of male genitalia, press your back button now.
I’m not what you’d call a photogenic person. It takes over 100 shots to find one picture where I don’t look like I’m staring into the sun while someone simultaneously stomps on my foot. Luckily, my father knows his way around a camera pretty well and agreed take my author photo for free due to the whole “being his daughter” thing.
I knew exactly where I wanted to go for the photo shoot. The town I grew up in has this big pond and a wooded park area. There’s a long bridge crossing the pond and—in my memories, at least—the end of the bridge had this cool, gothic looking arch. So, we headed there.
Present day didn’t quite match up with my memories as the cool arch was peeling and partially disintegrated. No problem…it actually looked even better this way. Instead of doing a full shot in front of the arch, we’d do a close-up head shot with the crumbling wall behind me. Gritty, urban feel. Like it.
Then, we got closer, and there was a problem.
Have you seen the movie "Superbad"? A character in that film has an obsessive disorder where he compulsively draws penises. Apparently someone with that same disease lives in my hometown.
Yes, there were graffiti weenies on my precious wall.
Dad said, “It’s okay, we’ll do it anyway.”
I said, “Dad! I’m a YA author! I can’t have a DONG in my author photo!”
But, we made it work. We moved over to the edge of the wall where there was no prominent pecker. The original plan was to have only the wall behind me, but now we additionally had some bright green foliage that added some color to the background. It actually turned out better that way. So, thank you, trouser snake obsessed graffiti artist.
And I’ll share a secret with you, blog readers.
When you open a copy of CLARITY and check out my author photo on the inside back flap...look in the upper left-hand corner of the picture and you’ll see a black, curved swipe.
Yes, folks, that is the bottom of an artist's rendering of a testicle.
Now you know. My author photo secret. :)